Steve's Blog of the Bizarre

Sunday, January 08, 2006

Boinc boinc boinc-ing!

ok, it's millions of years (approx) since I last posted... Here's part of what I've been doing since, uh, Christmas anyway:

I've been boinc-ing! See

Monday, October 31, 2005

Latest pandemic threat - tomato flu

In a report on this BBC website the news of the latest serious threat to world health has been broken. Tomato flu has arrived. Here follows a summary of what can be learnt from the major news networks:

There may have been a number of apparent supposed cases where some, we believe, people may have contracted an illness which may have been what people are beginning to call, for lack of a better term, tomato flu or influenza tomatitis to give it its officially-unconfirmed unofficially official Latin-scientific-name name. We believe that the woman, or at least we believe that it was a woman, who may have died in Athens may have died and that if she has died, or indeed if she has not, then it might be due to a possible case of unconfirmed tomato flu. However, it may not be or have been and it is as yet unconfirmed whether it is yet confirmed.

Do you have tomato flu?

If you have any of the symptoms described in this video which describes what may be the symptoms of a disease which could be tomato flu, although this is as yet unconfirmed, then please contact a doctor as you might be about to die. Possibly. If it is tomato flu, whose actual exisistence is as yet unconfirmed, except for those rumours which are alleged to be based on circumstancial evidence, and of course the woman (or indeed it might have been a man if indeed it was anyone) in Athens who may or may not have died of what may or may not have been tomato flu.

Meanwhile, a man died not because of a tomato but because of a banana, upon whose skin he slipped, causing him to laugh, thereby leading to a heart attack and death.

Now, back to our main story: NASA confirms that the tomato flu, if it exists, has spread to space. At least 1/3 of the freeze-dried foods consumed on the international space station contain, it is alleged, the so-called tomatoids which are at the centre of the possible tomato flu epicentre-pandemonium-polemic. The astronauts on board, described by a NASA spokesperson as "greedy bastards" have already consumed half of the rations on the space station. On this basis, NASA has quarantined the space station and told the astronauts "You will stay up there and go to bed without any tea!" In response to this, we are told, the astronauts "mooned" NASA, which we believe is a complex manouvre whereby they aim the craft in the direction of the earth's only natural satellite, or "Moon" in an attempt to avoid crashing into the earth and dying. More on the manouvres to avoid crashing into the moon instead later...

Monday, October 24, 2005

Random weather thing...

Ok, I have a random weather thing in my sidebar from Weatherpixie.

Up to date? Um, no - it tells me it was sunny yesterday but not that it's currently pissing it down with rain. (I'm posting now to avoid swimming to uni...)

Pointless? Completely.

Well, whatever - it made me happy!

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

Grr... Lost my post - Greek lessons!

Blogger went on maintenaince while I was writing a post a couple of days ago (which I stupidly didn't copy first, blah blah) so this is vaguely what I was writing about:

Multi-lingual uni madness!

My flat is made up of 2 Greeks, 1 Spaniard and 2 English (including myself). We went on a flat expedition last week to Mykonos Café - a Greek café near the uni - to watch the football: Panathinaikos v. Bremen. The first language in the café, certainly on such an occasion as this, seems to be Greek with about 2 native English speakers there (I say about 2, probably just 2: me and my flatmate Chloe). Great opportunity to practise my non-existent Greek then! Well, I learnt how to say "This seat is taken". Quite useful really. Well, at least when you are in a Greek café full of Greek people. Not something you would just walk up to someone and say. Other linguistic achievements of the night: wrote text messages in Spanish to mysteriously disappearing flatmate; spoke French with someone from my course (who is Greek...); spoke English! To my sister! (no, really?!)

I do know some useful things in Greek though: "Good morning", "Good evening" (not "Goodbye", though but "Ciao" works as well as in most European languages), "My name is Steve", "Do you speak English?". And perhaps most usefully, learnt yesterday after a couple of hours of listening to Greek while reading for one of my courses, "Speak English!". All that and the words for "kitchen" and "swimming pool". Doesn't really make for amazing conversation yet, but I've got a year to learn (and study and work at Argos (again) and write a dissertation - not much to do really). Although there is apparently a Chinese guy who's more advanced than me - though that seems to be out of neccessity as the other 6 people in his flat are Greek...

Anyway, for any Greek speakers out there:
Καλημέρα. Είμαι ο Steve. Μιλάτε Αννλικά;

Yep. Profound.

Sunday, October 02, 2005


I live near Piccadilly Station in Manchester and trains go past my window. A Virgin train is going past now named after Jeff Tracy from Thunderbirds. Fairly random and bizarre...

N.B. I am working at my desk. Really... Not just staring out the window...

Thursday, September 22, 2005

New uni, new course, new blog...

I've finally arrived at the University of Manchester to start my MA in Translation Studies. I've started a new blog in the hopes that I might put useful things I want to remember there before I forget them. Although at the moment I can't remember the things I need to buy from one minute to the next, so there's probably very little hope for me.

Friday, May 13, 2005

How bizarre...

I've found something bizarre, but could be useful: an instant blog post generator. Well, I've not posted for 2 months, so this could let me post quickly then get back to my Wikipedia obsession.

So here's my contribution for today:

I honestly adore my grandpa Archibald. Often he is a little cool, and then last week he just disgusted me... I needed his help thinking about standards of beauty of the European lowlands, but then he started bitching:

"Oh man! I am so sick of hearing about the European lowlands all the time!"

At first I interrupted "WHOA!" but then this morning I just ran away all of a sudden. After all, he *is* my grandpa and I have to live with that...

Link of the day: Blackout Pics | Randomly generated by Flooble Instant Blog Post Generator

Kind of makes sense, actually... very strange.

So here's another for the next time I don't post anything:

Today my friend and I were thinking about standards of beauty on the African subcontinent. We were quite uninterested by the whole thing, so we asked my friend Lizzie about it, and she interrupted:

"Oh man!.. No kidding?! Don't tell me you're into the African subcontinent too!"

But then when my friend and I got to the part about the standards of beauty, Lizzie stopped yelling. But this morning, Lizzie's mother told me that the reason Lizzie was so freaked out was because she used to write a lot about standards of beauty. There are days when Lizzie can be really demented like that, but she wants what is best for me...

Link of the day: The Gay Quiz | Randomly generated by Flooble Instant Blog Post Generator

I wrote my own exciting version, but seem somehow to have lost it. Never mind

I'm back!

Firstly let me apologise to my legions of readers (legions here referring to any number from about 0 to maybe 1 on a good day - possibly including myself) for not posting to this blog for nearly 2 months...

Secondly: Hi, my name's Steve and I'm a Wikipediholic. I've reached 1,000 edits in 2 months on the English Wikipedia and I'm proud of this accomplishment.

Lots of other non-wikipedia things have happened like catching a mouse, planting a tree, baking cakes and graduating (random, I know and not necessarily in that order). More exciting details to follow, but for now I need to go...